Too good to Believe


That day.

That day was in 2011 summer. I lived in a big city in China. I was loving Jesus and serving the Lord with all my heart. But that afternoon I went to sit in a little garden inside a campus near my apartment, feeling totally confused and down. I had been feeling that way for quite a while. Felt stuck, lost, lack of passion of the things I did. I needed God to speak to me because I didn’t know why I was feeling that way. I didn’t know what needs to happen in my life and where I should go. I had doubts like “am I good at anything at all” because it seemed everything I tried to do well was not going well. So I waited in the garden, quietly and eagerly…

That day was about 3 weeks ago. Beautiful sunny day. I was living in Switzerland (I still do), and I decided to go to a place called Morges by bus and train for the first time. I wandered around the streets and sucked the European air in. I tried to record the moments there with my DV as much as possible while fully engaging the simple pleasure. The sky was blue and the sun was warm. I couldn’t love it more.

As I was walking to the lakeside and sitting on a bench in front of the lake  Léman and the famous mountain blanc far way, I took a deep breath and guess what came to my mind? It was the memory of the other day when I was sitting in the little garden in China.

What happened that day? Well, God spoke to me, like He always does. He actually first led me out the garden and brought me to a playground, where the view in front of me was broad and clear. And then He spoke to me with an impression:” I’m taking you to a wider place where there’s much more freedom.”

Looking back, the stress I was feeling 3 years ago had a lot to do with the environment I was in becoming an inappropriate place for my new growing life. And God knew that way before anyone else. 

So that sunny winter afternoon, sitting by the lake Léman, my heart was full of gratitude. For the past 3 years, I’ve experienced so much and did things I never thought I would be able to do. I’ve got to know my Savior and myself better and deeper, and have become much confident in who I am. The future is still yet to be fully discovered. It will be again, too good to believe, yet absolutely true.

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